The Night Loop: Storytime (The Grey Line Journals)

I don’t really like doing Night Loops. Wait, no. I don’t really like the idea of doing Night Loops. The office is closed, so I can’t drop my Tourbox(*1) in my locker and change my clothes. I have to wait around forever to be called, and the only thing worse than Times Square in the day, is dealing with it at night, when I’d rather be at a complacent.org party, or a Lost City dance party in LIC(*2) . But the Night Tour itself is not itself unpleasant. One of the most important and unique aspects of the Night Tour, is that it’s not hop-on/hop-off. There are two pick up spots and TS(*3) and the Empire State. After that, they’re all mine, until one at Macy’s and then unload back at TS. It’s story-hour.
The nighttime offers two wonderful opportunities. First of all, are the city lights, A grand view of the Chrysler and of course the ESB shortly after. On top of that, the night tours, more often than not, have fewer or no youths to accommodate language and content for. Which means I don’t need to tip-toe around the somewhat phallic subtext of the race for the tallest building in New York. I give ‘em the familiar razzle-dazzel for Manhattan, and the comes the fun part: Over the Manhattan bridge. Hey, first time I gave a tour over the bridge, I was speechless.
Of course, there’s also the dual Borough effect to consider. By the time we’re over the bridge, the crowd has gotten to know me a little bit, and I can start sharing my pride and history in the borough of my birth, upbringing, and current residence. A little bit of early Dutch history kicks it off, the Fulton landing view of The Brooklyn Bridge is perfect for The Tale of Two Roeblings, and I give ‘em the tragic tale of the lost Dodgers, complete with a tear wiped away and a “burn in hell!” at the mention of the name Walter O’Maley.
Then it’s along Columbia avenue, beneath the BQE for a bland stretch of fifteen minutes or so. The whole point of this is for a glimpse of State of Liberty, which is difficult to see at best, and half the drivers won’t even pause for it, but boy, how those tourists scramble for thirty seconds for a picture. By the time we reach the next turn we’re at. Columbia & the very end of Atlantic ave. Warehouses & not much else. Well, there a’int a whole lot to point out until we reach Brooklyn Heights so from there on out, it’s Story Time. Sure, New York’s the city of 8 million stories, but Brooklyn is where I’m writing my own chapter.
Whether it’s the Hipster fests of Williamsburg, or the warehouse punk-haven of Fort Greene, what makes my night tour different then the “and on your left” monotony, because I share all of the exciting things there are to do in Brooklyn with those who (at least vicariously) want to feel like they’re taking part in a real New York City scene.
My last night tour was right after the Brooklyn Bike Bash, where hundreds of DIY bicyclists (DIY: Do it yourself.) who designed their own unique and wild-style bicycles including Tall-Bikes. A tall bike is actually 2-3 bike frames welded one atop the other, making the rider sit at nearly eight feet off the ground. And the most exciting event at the Brooklyn Bike Bash is of course: The Tall-Bike Joust! Tall bicyclists charge each other with PVC tubes with boxing gloves duct taped to the end.
I can’t tell you how many dropped jaws I got for that one.
There was also the Silent Night Disco which is a disco with a DJ digitally transmitting the music into headphones. A whole room full of people dancing to music that only they could hear. And they thought those things only happened in mini-disc commercials.
At first they give me a look that they don’t believe me, but they soon come to accept that these stories are a little bit too weird not to be true. And by the end of the trip, they know a little bit more about what life in Brooklyn is like for most of the young people who have taken the risk to move out to this magically transforming borough.
And then, when I clock out, around 9 or 10 pm, there’s a whole night ahead of me to collect a few more Brooklyn night-life stories to lock and load for my next Night Loop.

*1 Tourbox- Every Grey Line Guide needs one. The tourbox itself often doubles as the tip box. Mine is decorated with pictures of the city, one of CB's, one of the Statue, and one of myself, surrounded by sights of the city. Every guide's Tourbox should have: microphone, hole-puncher, pens, ID card and Tour Guide License.
*2- Long Island City
*3- Times Square